Hoje e Sempre

I quit...

Because it gets too desperating, it gets too tiring to struggle so much for so long
Because there's hardly any blood left in my heart to be bled in anguish and pain from its breaking
Because the light of the sun begins to fade even when it shines up high and its heat follows
Because I'm left with no strentgh, and I barely handle the crying without being exhausted
Because I get angry for not moving, for not getting out of the same place as the others go on
Because I'm not able to recover from the fall that awaits me if I carry on

I quit because ultimately there's no reason to continue, the strife and pain find no justification
Because the wind is a blade as its blow cuts my skin like a knife while sweeping my tears
Because I find no rest at night nor at day when trying to rest, continuously filled with thoughts and feelings raging intensely in my head and heart

I quit because I want to, because I find no other way out to prevent my suffering
Because it's maddening, driving me crazy this whirlwind of emotions
Because I feel unable to deal with it again, to face it all with a smile as I'm torn inside like a castle falling to pieces dragging with them my identity

I quit because...I quit because...I don't know why, I just feel it inside, this urge
This aching and regret, this suffering stabbed deep inside my heart with its roots in unreachable places
I quit because I say so, because I think so, and cannot take more of this wait, of this desperating in vain
Unknowing the result, anticipating the outcome and the wreckage it will cause

That's it, I'm going to tell her so I can quit with the least amount of pain, with the smallest and gentlest heartbreak, the one caused by a smile of understanding and a no for an answer, with a shimmering look only thrown to enhance the feelings and make way to resignation, conformity to the idea of moving on and dealing with "I told you so" 's, to wipe the tears bravely as they drip from a dying heart which has no other remedy than to patch itself together again in hopes of better luck next time and knowing of the inevitability of its breaking again.

posted by Palroni @ 11:43 da tarde